The Fox Adventure

On the second page of my Bible, after God creates man and woman, He calls them “muchness good”. Before we did anything for Him, we were good. That includes our bodies. Adam and Eve did not have to do anything with their bodies for them to be good. Over these last five years, I have struggled to think my body is good. 

The truth is my body has let me down time and time again. The intricate way God designed the female body to carry life is beyond beautiful. It can feel like every corner we turn; it’s another confirmation that my body has failed in some way or another. 

After my retrieval, we learned my estrogen count was more than double. I was in the beginning stages of ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome. This is when the blood vessels surrounding the ovaries start to leak fluid. I was bloated and put on a good amount of water weight. This made my recovery very uncomfortable. Decreasing my estrogen levels was the number one priority; this would also drain the excess water that was building up in my body. They also warned us that our chances of doing a fresh transfer were pretty slim. 

When our doctor spoke with us after the retrieval, he told us my body did a great job producing follicles. It responded to the medication, and we had viable eggs from the follicles. We spoke about the concerns and complications of ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome and my estrogen levels. The doctor explained if we went forward with a fresh transfer, it would be less than a 5% chance of a successful transfer. Even though it was an easy decision due to my body’s response, it was hard to swallow. We will need to come back to Colorado at a later date for a frozen transfer.

On the one hand, my body did a good job — it produced the follicles needed for the egg retrieval, but on the other hand, it failed to recover in time for a fresh transfer. I am trying and choosing to lean in and trust His voice more than any other, even myself. And he called me “muchness good.” 

As we continue our journey to grow our family, here are some ways you could pray for us:

✨ ⁣Andrew and I can navigate the tension between grief and hope, bold prayers and trusting His timing, longing for the future and joy in the now

✨ specifically for my estrogen and progesterone levels; they are important for the transfer

✨ ⁣honest and transparent communication in the middle of emotions and decisions

xx katie