The Fox Adventure

high school sweethearts tackling life together

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I’m a special education teacher and I have found a passion for teaching students with emotional and behavioral​ needs. I fell in love with a teenage boy at the age of 16, who would later join the military. I could never imagine where that love would take me. Chosen // Beloved // Believer

  • Hallmark Christmas Storyline I Never Asked For

    Andrew and I got to Colorado Springs airport on December 22nd at 12:30 PM and we finally flew back to Anchorage on December 24th and landed at 10 PM.

    72 hours ago:

    Steph, Andrew, and I got to the Colorado Springs airport at 12:30 for her 2:30 flight to Dallas. We quickly learn her flight was delayed, and her flight from Dallas to Cleveland was canceled. Andrew and I both felt incredibly guilty. Would she miss Christmas because of our infertility? She rebooked a flight for December 23rd and booked a hotel. We both ended up leaving Colorado Springs around 4:30 PM. Spoiler alert: she changed her flight on December 23rd to fly into Pittsburg in the early hours of Christmas Eve. Phew.

    We had a very short layover in Denver, so we were relieved when our flight to Anchorage was delayed an hour. We didn’t have to run through the airport and we could get a bite to eat. Then it kept getting delayed. The United announcer stated a plane from London was sitting empty in our terminal waiting (2 hours!) for customs to clear it. The unfortunate people on the plane from Cancun (our plane) were sitting on the terminix waiting to unload. They finally had to tow the empty London plane so the people from Cancun could unload. Our flight crew showed up, and we felt like we were in the clear. Then they announced they were waiting on one more flight attendant. At this point, the original departure time of 6:00 PM was pushed back to 11:30 PM.

    While we were waiting, Spencer and Paige Davis ran into us. They used to live in Alaska and went to our church. They were traveling back to spend time with Paige’s family for Christmas. In fact, her family was praying the flight was delayed so they could make the flight.

    At 11:54 PM, they canceled our flight. They cited the weather as the excuse, therefore no vouchers were given. Then they directed us to United’s customer service. There was no number to call or automatic booking of the next available flight. When we got to customer service, the line was over 400 yards (no joking). We looked at each other, questioning if we get in line. What other option did we have? Andrew called their customer service number and started to wait on hold. Both Spencer and I tried their texting service. The crappy part about them canceling right before midnight was we couldn’t prepare. All the stores and restaurants close at midnight. Thanks, United.

    Fast forward: a lot of small talk with people around us, searching on our phones for alternative routes, and unbelief at United’s customer service. Andrew waited on the phone with customer service for almost four hours, and they ultimately told him he needed to talk to a customer service agent. The customer service center closed at 3:30 AM and reopened at 6:00 AM. We all tried to catch some shut-eye. We entered the line shortly after midnight and got to the front at 8:15 AM! Yes, that’s over EIGHT hours of waiting.

    We waited all that time to be told the earliest they could get us home was Christmas Day night. They offered to put us on standby for the Christmas Eve flight, but there were already around 15 people on the list. Denver only has one flight a day that goes to Anchorage. 😖 During our eight-hour wait, we joked about how we could rent a car and drive to Seattle (they have many more flights going to Anchorage within a day.) We found cheapish tickets with Alaskan Airlines that left on Christmas Eve at 7:00 PM. The four of us booked them just in case. Our hope was United could get us to Seattle; they could not.

    We decided to rent a car and start the 20+ hour drive. We left the Alamo parking lot at 10:00 AM on December 23rd. Andrew and Spencer traded off driving multiple times. We went up sunny Colorado and drove the length of Wyoming, with some intense wind storms. When we got to Utah, the boys realized the mountain pass we needed in Seattle was closed. We rerouted to drive up through Portland to get to Seattle. However, Oregon apparently has strict all-wheel drive or tire chains on certain mountain passes. So at 8 PM, we stopped at an Autozone to purchase tire chains. Armed with those, we continued into the night. The boys were real champs. We hit Utah and had lots of snow and slick roads. At one point, Andrew imagined deer on the side and a rabbit on the road. 😳 Boy, were they exhausted.

    Within 70 miles of entering Oregon there was a sign for AWD or chains. So at 4:00 AM on Christmas Eve we put chains on all tires. The roads were so icy, we were happy we had them but it slowed us drastically down. Later that morning, during a bathroom break we met a truck driver who advised us to go up through Bend and Salem. We were then graced by the most beautiful sunrise, about four hours outside Bend. The rest of Oregon gave us lots and lots of rain. We did drive through some beautiful landscapes, but at this point we had been on the road for 24 hours and ready to be in Seattle.

    We enter Washington to warmer weather but heavy rain. There was light at the end of the tunnel. We made it to the rental car drop off at 10:30 AM. Just a little over 28 hours in the car. Check-in at Seattle airport was insane, there were so so many people. Luckily, we were able to bi-pass all of it because we didn’t have checked luggage (it’s still in Denver!) When we reached the gate, we had a plane and a flight crew. Surely, this would be it. We would make it home on Christmas Eve. Then 10 minutes before boarding there was a maintenance delay. ☠️ However, it only delayed us 30 minutes.

    After three days of traveling we are going home. I’m not sure if I’m more excited to see my dog, shower, or sleep in a bed.

    A massive shout out to Kimber and Sean Gilbert. They picked up Elyas from the borders on the 22nd, so he would be home when we got in that night. Then they returned to the house to feed and let him out that night and the following day. They even grocery-shopped for us, so we had food on Christmas morning. Sophie Harder was another MVP. Very last minute; she stayed at our home on the 23rd with Elyas. The Gilberts stayed with us many times over three years when they came back to visit. So I had complete confidence that Kimber could walk through everything with Sophie. One of the many joys of community!

    Thank you to everyone who prayed or reached out about connections in Seattle if we got stuck.

    It takes a village.

    xx katie

  • good body

    good body

    On the second page of my Bible, after God creates man and woman, He calls them “muchness good”. Before we did anything for Him, we were good. That includes our bodies. Adam and Eve did not have to do anything with their bodies for them to be good. Over these last five years, I have struggled to think my body is good. 

    The truth is my body has let me down time and time again. The intricate way God designed the female body to carry life is beyond beautiful. It can feel like every corner we turn; it’s another confirmation that my body has failed in some way or another. 

    After my retrieval, we learned my estrogen count was more than double. I was in the beginning stages of ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome. This is when the blood vessels surrounding the ovaries start to leak fluid. I was bloated and put on a good amount of water weight. This made my recovery very uncomfortable. Decreasing my estrogen levels was the number one priority; this would also drain the excess water that was building up in my body. They also warned us that our chances of doing a fresh transfer were pretty slim. 

    When our doctor spoke with us after the retrieval, he told us my body did a great job producing follicles. It responded to the medication, and we had viable eggs from the follicles. We spoke about the concerns and complications of ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome and my estrogen levels. The doctor explained if we went forward with a fresh transfer, it would be less than a 5% chance of a successful transfer. Even though it was an easy decision due to my body’s response, it was hard to swallow. We will need to come back to Colorado at a later date for a frozen transfer.

    On the one hand, my body did a good job — it produced the follicles needed for the egg retrieval, but on the other hand, it failed to recover in time for a fresh transfer. I am trying and choosing to lean in and trust His voice more than any other, even myself. And he called me “muchness good.” 

    As we continue our journey to grow our family, here are some ways you could pray for us:

    ✨ ⁣Andrew and I can navigate the tension between grief and hope, bold prayers and trusting His timing, longing for the future and joy in the now

    ✨ specifically for my estrogen and progesterone levels; they are important for the transfer

    ✨ ⁣honest and transparent communication in the middle of emotions and decisions

    xx katie

  • Trusting in our Father – the start of IVF

    When Andrew and I found out we weren’t able to proceed with IVF in October/November, I was utterly crushed. In my devastation, the Lord met me. I laid my sorrow and frustration before him, and he gave me unexplainable peace that night. Leading up to that cycle, I was overly stressed, tired, and pessimistic. I remember telling Andrew how I didn’t think IVF would work which is not typical of me at all. I am usually a glass-half-full person; the negativity I felt in my body and soul weighed on me. When the lab messed up on my blood samples, causing us to miss this round – it reminded us how little control we had. At that moment, I found God’s peace. 

    I have spent most of this last month thinking, what if this is my last few weeks of infertility? What if everything changes after this month? What does God want to show me in this last month? I want to learn while I’m still in “this” before the next. As I waited to start another cycle for IVF – I felt ready; I felt positive; I felt connected to God and Andrew.

    On December 6th, we found out my baseline looked good, and we could start the stimulation medication later that evening. Given this timeline, we might spend Christmas in Colorado. For many reasons, we did not like the idea. That evening, we had two hours to decide. We went back and forth many times, even having Steph process with us. She is great at asking questions. It ultimately came down to trusting in the Lord’s timing. We realized there are so many hurdles to the IVF process that we must give our trust entirely to Him.

    You know what? The Lord showed up. My body responded quickly to the medication; I took seven days of ovulation stimulation medication (typically, it’s 10-12 days). My egg retrieval got moved up. As of Monday, I had twenty follicles over 12 mm. It was a whirlwind moving everything up, but we left for Colorado Tuesday night, and I go in this morning for the egg retrieval. 

    As we continue to step out in faith, trusting that the Lord’s plan and timing are best, here are some ways you could pray for us:

    • The surgery (egg retrieval) goes smoothly, with a quick recovery.
    • We get many healthy and viable embryos from the retrieval.
    • That my estrogen levels drop, there is concern that it’s too high to have a fresh transfer. (If we can’t do a fresh transfer, our embryos will be frozen, and we will have to travel back to Colorado another month).
    • Decision-making for our care team and us.
    • Safe travels for Steph – she arrives here on Saturday!
    • As we wait while the embryos develop that we will have peace. 
    • That our embryos develop, and we have a successful transfer.

    Let’s make some babies!

  • feels like a sick and cruel joke

    Last month, Andrew and I were pushing to get everything set to start IVF in a few weeks — signing consent, paying for the coming procedures, gathering the medication, all of the things. We even had to decide what would happen to our embryos if we separated or one of us died. Conversations we never thought we would have. We were anticipating the green light during my baseline labs and transvaginal ultrasound. The last 5+ years led to this moment. The conversation with the nurse went differently than expected.

    “Did you see your lab results?”
    “Well, yeah, but it was just numbers. I don’t know what they mean.”
    “So… they indicate that you are pregnant.”
    “No. No. That’s impossible. I’m on my period.”
    “Is it just spotting?”
    “No. I’m on my heavy day.”

    The lab test the nurse referred to was my hCG hormone, sometimes called the pregnancy hormone. It is the hormone produced by the placenta during pregnancy. My hCG was 424 – anything over FIVE indicates pregnancy. So it wasn’t just a little elevated. As the very kind nurse explained, my mind was racing. I was in shock. I couldn’t find my words or figure out what questions to ask. She explained they usually repeat the labs in 48 hours to see if the hCG has doubled, revealing a viable pregnancy. I got my labs drawn on Thursday; it was now Friday morning. Due to the time zone difference, they wouldn’t get my results in time if I waited until Saturday, the full 48 hours. So the nurse told me to get my labs drawn later in the day.

    I called Andrew and told him the news. His reaction was similar to mine, disbelief. We were both guarded; we didn’t want our hearts to believe there was a chance. There was no way – there must have been a mistake. I then compartmentalized and focused on ’90s tracksuits, my workout moves, and behavior professional development for my school. You know what I’m talking about if you are a Begich staff member. 🙂

    Unfortunately, my results were not processed before the weekend. I spent my Saturday morning speaking to a kind and patient nurse. Could this indicate an early miscarriage? A biochemical pregnancy? Could the lab have mixed up my blood? Yes, to them all. She also explained that in a tiny percentage of pregnancies, the body hasn’t caught up to itself, so it will have one more period even though it’s pregnant.

    She then very gently explained the likelihood of starting IVF this cycle was next to nothing. I couldn’t start taking the medication until my hCG level was under five. My numbers wouldn’t go from 424 to less than 5 in 36 hours, even if it wasn’t a viable pregnancy.

    Andrew and I spent the weekend preparing our hearts and minds to miss this cycle. It was a tender, gentle, and sweet weekend with Andrew. I felt more connected to him during this weekend of uncertainty. He met my needs, and I met his needs (remember from the last post, they are entirely different). Even though we both believed I wasn’t pregnant, there was this mustard seed size hope that I could be pregnant. We all know what God can do with mustard seed size faith. It was a weekend spent in the tension of trusting God’s timing and my desire and eagerness to become a mother.

    On Monday, we found out my results from that Friday indicated my hCG was <0.1, and our timeline for IVF would not be possible this month. It was confirmed that my blood was mixed up in the lab. It felt like a sick and cruel joke. The last five years led us to this moment; the moment of finally moving forward with an IVF cycle. It felt like the rug was pulled out from under us.

    xx katie

  • Peace + Light in the Darkness

    Peace + Light in the Darkness

    These last three weeks have consisted of more twists and turn in our infertility rollercoaster than I could ever want. One day thinking we couldn’t do IVF this month, then the next day getting the green light. The stresses of signing consent, paying for the coming procedures, and gathering the medication began. 😮‍💨 I have never been more stressed. 

    I was so hyper-focused on not screwing anything up so we could start IVF with my coming cycle and make it successful. We got the green light just last week, and lo and behold, I got my period the next day. It was go time. I felt like I could finally relax and surrender the process to God. I had done my part.

    Andrew and I are opposites when it comes to handling stress. Andrew is all task-oriented, and then he needs alone time. I need to talk through everything multiple times, and then I want to sit and cuddle. As I said, polar opposites. A bunch of shortness, abrupt endings in conversations, and exasperation happened. Communication is hard enough in a marriage without added stress. During those twoish weeks, we weren’t at our best. That’s when grace enters. Sometimes we get it right, and other times we get it wrong. Each time the Good Father keeps stitching us back together – each time with a closer weave (therapy also helps). This recent mend prepared us for the coming weekend.

    Last Friday, we found out something looked off on my baseline labs. We went into the weekend in limbo. Unsure of what to think and doubtful we could proceed with IVF in the coming week.

    That night a friend asked me if I could see the Northern Lights from our house. I stood watching them dance in the sky out of the window of our someday nursery (second picture). At that moment, there was peace. Unexplainable peace. I ventured outside to see the Aurora Borealis in all her glory. I wept under a green-filled sky. I once again surrendered this process to Jesus. Resting in Jesus’ peace doesn’t mean I don’t question, grieve, or hurt. It means you keep coming to Jesus even though the night is dark. 

    Did you know that The Northern Lights are Earth’s magnetic field interacting with particles from the sun? The Lights can only be seen in the darkest of nights; particles of light break the darkness. Jesus is commonly referred to as light. Not even the darkest of nights can overcome the light. (there is a sermon in there somewhere) 

    On that cold dark night, I kept thinking that even though the night is dark, even though the sun seems to sleep, cling to Jesus. He is the light. The hope. Yes, Darkness comes, but so does the morning (light). Sadness comes, but so does hope. Sorrow may come, but it cannot have my life.

    Yesterday it was confirmed we would have to wait another month. Some day I’ll probably share more details. But for now, I’m going to sit in my sorrow and cling to my Father.

    xx katie