The Fox Adventure

Fertility journey is a freaking rollercoaster and not enough people talk about it.

Its been over two years now… I know… not that long compared to some. But that doesn’t mean my heart isn’t aching any less.

Most days I have peace with the journey,
some days I’m sad and questioning everything.

Most days I am hopeful,
some days I just hurt.

Most days I have faith that God’s got this,
some days I doubt His plans.

Most days I surrender,
some days I try to control everything.

On those “some days” it doesn’t take much for me to start a downward spiral. I start believing all the lies. I am still learning that in our quiet unexpressed un-wrestled through disappointments, Satan handcrafts his most damning weapons against us. It’s his subtle subduction to get us alone with our thoughts so he can slip in whispers that will develop our disappointments into destructive choices. If the enemy can isolate us he can influence us. And his favorite entry point of all is through our disappointments.

It’s in these moments I find myself feeling weak. God has been revealing to me that these weak moments don’t make for weak faith. Weak moments make us even more aware of our need to press into faith. A faith in God that helps us know that what we see isn’t all there is. Weak moments are also clues to what needs to be addressed in this part of the journey.

Today, I am choosing to be vulnerable and not allow Satan to control the narrative. This is my marked moment, a real-life moment where I break the chains of fear, shame, and control.

Oh Dear God, give me faith in my doubt that mountains are still being moved, my giants are still being slain, and wonders are still what you do.

xx katie